I was going to do a vlog video but somehow lost one of the memory cards so instead here is a quick round-up of my office.
Our culture is filled with qualifiers. All these qualifications are unreasonable and unattainable. Unfortunately, we still fall prey to them. The question is, how do we pick ourselves up?
I am sure at some point in your life you have thought you weren’t good enough. Something along the lines of not being pretty enough, rich enough, talented enough, or just not enough.
I still find myself battling thoughts like these as I fall asleep.
If you met me in person though you would never think I thought this way about myself. You might think I’m even conceited.
The truth? I fill voids. Silence and loneliness being the scariest and deepest.
Why am I telling you this? Because I wrote this blog post a week ago and started reading it for edits.
Originally it talked about being confident and blaming qualifications on society. Which are both great topics but I.t began to sound like a Gary V speech (nothing wrong with Mr. V but just not my style of communication.)
Something I strive for in everyone of my blog posts is authenticity. A way for my readers to connect to the things that I write and think. This isn’t easy but I do my best and I hope at the end the day you do connect in some odd way. I want you to see that I’m not trying to preach some kind of propaganda or positivity at you. Understand that I’m taking this journey with you and I am just writing my thoughts along the way.
So if you meet me in person know that I’m just like you. Searching but lost, always wanting more. Those qualifiers are not who I am or who I want to be. They’re just words aimed to label me – and you.
The reason I appear the way I do in person though is because I battle my fears of silence and loneliness. These are a few of the ways…
Daily affirmations. I try to start my day off with them.
- I am beautiful
- I am smart
- I am kind
- I am blessed beyond measure
- I am fulfilled
- I have more than enough
You know what though? Once a day sometimes isn’t enough. There are times that the inside of my chest feels like it’s folding in over itself. Those times when I want to bust out in a fountain of tears and self-pity that is when I need my affirmations most…
“I am beautiful, I am smart, I am kind…”
Feeling supported is so so so important. Never underestimate the touch of another human or the sound of a soothing friends voice. Build and nourish the friendships that are worth it. Find friends who are capable of supporting you and then also be that for them. Family can be familiar as well and help you in those times of self-loathing.
I told you that some of my biggest fears – silence and loneliness. Whenever I am around others I constantly try to fight those fears with talking and jokes.
It’s like a nervous tick.
I assume that no one would want to be around me if they were bored. In order to break this bad habit. I am concentrating on laughing at others jokes and constantly saying yes instead of no. I’ve learned to love my loneliness and to appreciate the beauty in the silence while being around others.
I do my best to challenge my fears. Do I always succeed? No. But that’s okay because I am still trying. Your not going to win every time but at least you are learning from each failure.
As we get older and start realizing that we have to make decisions on our own. The terrifying and infamous adult “what do you want to be when you grow up?” – is one question that haunts us for the rest of our lives.
In our lives we will battle life choices; where to go to college, who to date, and what kind of career do I want?
These questions start eating away at our subconscious at a very young age. They begin to develop to full blow psychological scares around high school graduation time. They are labeled depression, stress, and anxiety. (Click this link if you want to know more about these very serious conditions.)
A good portion finds what they are good at early on – others it might take some more time maybe even into your late 20’s or 30’s.
The thing is that we don’t have to have one set career path. There is no need to push for the career you have for so long told yourself you need to be in order to be successful.
You don’t have to choose one career path for the rest of your life – you don’t need a 401k in order to consider your life a success. That might be our parents or grandparents definition of success but not ours.
We are always so focused on the destinations. What we will be doing when we are 20 – 30 – 40. The matter is so superfluous if you ask me.
Do I want to leave a lasting impact on the world? Yes. That is my personal definition of success. How I do that is up to me though! I might die at the ripe old age of 100 and had multiple careers and still loved every single one of them.
Life is a journey.
That means that you can love more than one person in a lifetime or have several careers. If you lose your lust for life in one place – then move to another!
We were not meant to stay in one place our whole lives; Humans have a history of roaming. Find something that challenges you and if you become the master, find something else.
Forget about end goals and destinations and become great at the journey. Problem-solving, being open-minded, and loving with a ferocity that is almost intimidating are all skills and abilities that will only lead to a greater life.
Live your best life by forgetting the destination.
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In this vlog, I am taking you back to where I grew up. See what made me and why I am the way I am and maybe learn something about yourself.
No worries friends a blog post is still coming. Until I post that though enjoy this small video compilation. To see it first follow me on Instagram Jewels.Clark.