𧬠The Science of Love + Staying Social
- How to be Social HTBS
- Nov 8
- 3 min read
Dating culture is evolving ā and the data is starting to catch up. According to research, it isnāt just romantic love that lights up our brainās reward circuits: the hormone Oxytocin (often called the ālove hormoneā) is released not only during childbirth and romantic attachment, but also in deep friendships and meaningful social touch. Psychology Today+3Harvard Health+3Healthline+3

Studies show that higher oxytocin levels correlate with feelings of trust, connection, and emotional safety ā whether youāre cuddling a partner orĀ having a heart-to-heart with a friend. Psychology Today+1Ā And when we spend time around good people, our brainās reward system perks up in the same way it does when weāre falling for someone. Stanford Medicine+1
So hereās the cultural pivot: instead of ācuffing seasonā being the only way to feel validated or connected, weāre turning the page to Friendship FallĀ ā this season is for the people who show up, the friends who hold space, the real-life hugs, the āyouāre goodā check-ins, and the community that keeps us human.
Reading articles that suggest havingĀ a boyfriend might look āembarrassingā ? ā whew, no thanks. What we doĀ know: being social is crucial. And if we want to lean into the science of it, hugs and kissing your friends can actually meet some of the same needs for human touch and connection.
For example: experts quote (although note they treat it more as heuristic than strict scientific law) that we āneed 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 hugs for maintenance, 12 hugs for growth.ā Healthline+2Psychology Today+2Ā Other sources suggest aiming for āone hug eight times a dayā as a way to boost oxytocin (the so-called cuddle hormone) and build connection. The Forum+1Ā And thereās actual research showing that hugs reduce stress hormones (cortisol), increase oxytocin, improve cardiovascular markers ā yes, even with friends and non-romantic touch. Healthline+1
Instead of focusing on getting cuffedĀ this season (which can come with pressure, expectations, and weird power dynamics), let's focus on friendship for our mental health, for deeper connection, and for a better world all around. Being more connected, more present, more affectionate with your people ā thatās a win.
Real Game Play Tactics:
Prioritize hanging out with friends, setting aside time for group dinners, game nights, walks, deep chats.
Show up with intentional physical touch where appropriate (hugs, playful hand-holds, high-fives).
Check in on how this shift impacts me: Do I feel more grounded? Less pressured? More joyful?
Treat single status not as lack but as space: space for friendships, self-growth, creativity, connection.
Keep the dialogue open: if youāre single and tired of the āyou should be cuffedā narrative ā foodie, gamer, artist, party lover, homebody ā letās make friendship the default mode.
So yeah: Friendship Fall is happening. If youāre reading this and thinking āthis sounds good,ā join us. Invite a friend, arrange a hang-out, send a hug (even a virtual one) and commit to connection. Because love doesnāt have to look romantic to be real. Stay social. Stay present. Letās lean into the love we already have, and see where thatĀ takes us.
Why this matters
The pressure of relationships (especially on single people in their late 20s) can feel heavy ā expectations, comparisons, āshould-being,ā timelines. Choosing to redirect into friendship shifts the paradigm.
From a wellness perspective, consistent social connection + physical touch = real benefits. The research on hugging: for example, the ā20-second hugā study found supportive touch before a stress task lowered cortisol levels and helped both partners feel less stress. Psychology Today
And from a cultural viewpoint: reframing ācuffing seasonā (which often centers dating/romance) into āfriendship seasonā normalizes the idea that non-romantic relationships are just as meaningful.
Enter How to Be Social ā online and IRL events coming your way. Weāre exploring connection in all its forms: platonic, creative, communal. Because if biology tells us our bodies crave touch, trust, and belonging, then maybe the ārelationshipā we should be tending this season is the one with our friends + ourselves.
Connection isnāt just nice-to-have. Itās neuroscience. Itās mental health. Itās the best kind of love there is.š #ScienceOfLove #HowToBeSocial #FriendshipFall #StaySocial
Comments